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whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

obsidian-order:

clavisa:

This is a fucking hilarious video of “Innuendo Bingo” on the BBC with the actor who played Neville Longbottom. As far as I can tell it’s a program where they make the participants fill their mouths with water and then listen to hilarious innuendo-filled clips. I kinda want to have a home-viewing party where we play along. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.

This is important. Please watch.

antoniomadness:

gundamdick:

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP IMMA TELL YOU SOME SERIOUS GENDER MARKETING BULLSHIT THAT WENT DOWN TODAY

Today a woman came in to get her 13 year old son’s black iPhone fixed. This thing was totally fucking busted. She was already kind of being bitchy so I’m just trying to reassure her that everything will be fine and shuffle through the paper work so shes on her way. She leaves, I put her phone away till I have time to fix it.

Well come to find out that we were completely out of black screens until next week’s shipment. So I put on a white screen for now and reassure her that when we do get black screens in that I will call her and we’ll put the new screen on for free. Better to have a temporary mixed match phone then a broken one right?

This woman proceeds to flip her shit. “WE CAME HERE TO GET WHAT WE HAD FIXED!” I calmly explain to her that there is nothing I can do about the color for the time being. The son is totally fine with this and obviously embarrassed by his mother’s outburst. The woman snatches the phone, sneers at it, and then shoves it back into my hands and says “NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A GIRL’S PHONE! I AM NOT GIVING THIS TO MY SON!”

At this moment I turn to her and say. “I don’t undersand? How is it a girl’s phone now?”

"Well it was BLACK and now its WHITE!!" She gestured dramatically at the screen like I couldn’t fucking see it.

"How is white a feminine color?"

She huffs and explains that she refuses to take the phone until the color is changed. The 13 is now rapid fire “its fine its fine” cause he just wants his phone back. But she keeps refusing but I finally tell her again that we will change the phone for free when we get black screens and that shes not allowed to keep it here.

The point of the matter is that this woman almost refused to even take back the phone BECAUSE OF ITS COLOR. Mind you its not even anything like pink or purple. ITS. WHITE.

A SUBURBAN WHITE WOMAN TURNED RED IN THE FACE WITH ANGER BEAUSE SHE THOUGHT WHITE WAS TOO GIRLY FOR HER SON.

And the son is more mature than her.

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